Wednesday, 20 April 2016

I don't know why

In day to day life  There are lot of things we want to say , there a lot of things we want that other person should knw or feel about but circumstances or the reply we want cant be always what we expected. .. nd this is all what make  a difference on what we think nd due to that many things left remain unsiad.....

the same happen with me too currently there is a lot of things I am thinking aboutthat tommorow I will say ,I will say that nd if she reply the way I excepted ( or mind excepted) .. thats all my dreamy thinking....
so here it goona be started ( I am telling what will be happen in future tommorow that my mind is making ) ......

I think we will not get time or chnce to talk till our break after 2 lecture of morning nd till that time I will be just sitting in lecture physically but mentally on what I will be saying to her in  break ....

now there are two paradox which can happen on my future tommorow. ..

1>  (  paradox my happen that maybe she will sit with me in those first two lectures nd something happens that make my mood change or like that )

2> ( another paradox my happen that anyone of my classmate say something nd distrub my mind )

but If it continues like what I am dreaming or thinking about without any paradox happening I will get 20 min break to talk to her...

so where I am going to start .... now thats the problem becoze whatever we think or want to say , on that very momemts that all depend on the circumstance but still my mind just cant stop thinking. ...

maybe I will ask her what image she has on her mind about me  ( this question is due to all past experience or past talk we have or time spent.... nd I need to know what she had in her mind)

and I will give her some hint like do u think I like u or do u think I am not talking to u like we before do or u think that i just think a lot nd just stup nd get lost ( i hope she dont say that but I really need to know ) or u think I am just a mental person ( paglu ) like that...

before saying all this I know I will say something like , there was something , I don't know where to start or should I say or not ... like all this rubbish things....

but whatever she reply I dont know what whats goona be the next part but what I need to tell I am writing here , that doesn't matter If I will say or not , I just need to take it out in best way I can do ( I.e. writing it ).

I want to say , I dont know is it normal or not but I think a lot about you... whenver we dont talk it feel like that something is left in college nd my whole body want that tommorow comes really fast nd I can see u again nd say something. .....

I dont know why but whenever you shake hand with me nd do the same with some other peson I feel like I am also like that person to u.... this doesnt happen for handshake but many more things like the fun u do with me or if u talk the same way with other I feel like that...

I don't know why but whenever I see towards u In hope or just want u to say hiii or just the way u make ur eyebro up .... but dont get any response like that I started feeling low or like is something happen or I start getting irritated tooo....

I dont know why but whenever I say these  things like I need to talk to u or tell u something like this I feel cheap becoz i never listen this things from u so It made me feel why the hell I am thinking all that...

I dont know why but whenver these all thing happen I started ignoring or start talking as much less I can  becoz I fear may be if this things happen  i will start feeling all that again nd i It will again come to square one ... i know u dont have any intension or u even dont know thats happening ( but that's the most worst feeling that u dont know )

I dont know whether I will get a chance to say all this or even I can say this...

I don't know what will be her reaction nd what she think about me after listening this but I just dont want her to have any wrong image of me or think anything rubbish about me

I myself don't know what was all that but maybe the best way to know is by her only....

-- Prateek Kumar agarwal ( thats me ;-) )

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